1001 ways to shorten your life span, and enjoy it!
by Child of Taboo
Summary: Hello I'm Tabycat. Today I shall sow you my privit file of how to annoy the heck out of HP charectors. Read if you need a laugh.
1. Snape

Disclaimer: Not again!!!-- sigh I do not own Harry potter…but I do have Black and Snape tied up in my room. He he he I caught Snape during the summer. . Also Tarot card meanings come from P. Scott Hollander.  
  
Author: "Why me of course" smile They don't know who you are "Oh I forgot. I'm the great and all powerful Rei, child of taboo" bows Introduce me "And this is my annoying muse Gem. Just ignore her" hits Rei "owww! And also my editor Ashe will be helping "  
  
Warning: This story contains some Snape abuse.  
  
Last words: This story isn't my primary concern. I will be spending most of my time on 'Heritage' so this will be slow to update until I finish that story.  
  
Chapter one Ten ways to torment Snape.  
  
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1. Tell him how greasy his hair is.  
  
2.Sneak into his room at night and braid his hair.  
  
3.Give him shampoo for his birthday.  
  
4.Turn his cloths pink.  
  
5.Give him shampoo for Christmas.  
  
6.Imitate Voldy-po and order Snape to shave his hair off.  
  
7.Read his diary at a Death Eater meeting.  
  
8.Set him up on a blind date with Malfoy Sr.  
  
9.Give him shampoo during class for no reason.  
  
10.Set hair on fire…wait scratch that, wash hair in great hall. 


	2. Voldypo

Disclaimer: Not again!!!-- sigh I do not own Harry potter…but I do have Black and Snape tied up in my room. He he he I caught Snape during the summer. . Also Tarot card meanings come from P. Scott Hollander.  
  
Author: "Why me of course" _smile_ **They don't know who you are** "Oh I forgot. I'm the great and all powerful Rei, child of taboo"_ bows_ **Introduce me** "And this is my annoying muse Gem. Just ignore her" **hits Rei** "owww! And also my editor Ashe will be helping "  
  
Warning: This story contains some Snape abuse.  
  
Last words: This story isn't my primary concern. I will be spending most of my time on 'Heritage' so this will be slow to update until I finish that story.  
  
Chapter two Ten ways to torment Voldy-po.

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11. call him Voldy-po.  
  
12. Ask him if he sleeps with a teddy bear.  
  
13.Give him the 'Harry Potter' books for his birthday.  
  
14.Sell pictures of him in a mud mask to the Daily Profit.  
  
15.Laugh at his foolish attempts to kill Harry at a Death Eater meeting.  
  
16. Invite Harry over for dinner.  
  
17. Dress as Harry for the annual D.E. Halloween party.  
  
18.Give Voldy-po the 'Harry Potter' movies for Christmas.  
  
19. Prepare "You failed!!! (But we still fear you)" posters before going on D.E. missions.  
  
20. Call him Voldy-po in public.

* * *

Willard: It is a work in progress, I add new ones when I'm waiting for stories to load. And thanks for the complement v 


	3. Percy

Disclaimer: Not again!-- sigh I do not own Harry potter…but I do have Black and Snape tied up in my room. He he he I caught Snape during the summer. . Also Tarot card meanings come from P. Scott Hollander.

Author: "Why me of course" smile They don't know who you are "Oh I forgot. I'm the great and all powerful Rei, child of taboo" bows Introduce me "And this is my annoying muse Gem. Just ignore her" hits Rei "owww! And also my editor Ashe will be helping "

Warning: This story contains some Snape abuse.

Last words: This story isn't my primary concern. I will be spending most of my time on 'Heritage' so this will be slow to update until I finish that story.  
p.s. This took forever to do, i ran out of ideas for the last one -  
Chapter three Ten ways to torment Percy.

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21. Draw a mustache on his girlfriends picture.

22.Through it in his face that Voldy-poo is back.

24.Send nude baby pictures into his work.

25.Overbook his day with pointless meetings.

26.Give him a hug (after coating self with sticky substance, I recommend honey)

27.Ask him a question he doesn't have the answer too.

28. Give the key to his apartment to the twins.

29.Send him roses from a secret admirer (on the card right 'from dearest Voldy-poo')

30. Leave fertilizer cough poop cough on his desk.

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Tinie16791: Are you sure that he is in your room, cuz i'm sure i chained him in .

The Jolly Leprechaun: Thanks for the compliment. I hope this fits your desire for more.

Willard:I did enjoy the poem but I hope you don't mind that i don't have a lot of time to review. Hope you like being mentioned again.


	4. Ron

Disclaimer: Not again!-- sigh I do not own Harry potter…but I do have Black and Snape tied up in my room. He he he I caught Snape during the summer. . Also Tarot card meanings come from P. Scott Hollander.

Author: "Why me of course" smile They don't know who you are "Oh I forgot. I'm the great and all powerful Rei, child of taboo" bows Introduce me "And this is my annoying muse Gem. Just ignore her" hits Rei "owww! And also my editor Ashe will be helping "

Warning: This story contains some Snape abuse.

Last words: This story isn't my primary concern. I will be spending most of my time on 'Heritage' so this will be slow to update until I finish that story.

p.s. This took forever to do, i ran out of ideas for the last one -

Chapter four Ten ways to torment Percy.

31. Burn Cannons memorabilia in front of him.

32.Mention Hermione and Victors relationship.

33.Beat him at chess.

34.Train a monkey to beat him at chess…It could happen.

35.Call him Weasel.

36.Create a horde of slugs to stalk him.

37.Lock him in a room with Malfoy.

38.Give him the Spiderman DVD's for his Birthday.

39.Do better than him at anything…really he gets way to angry.

40.Call him Ronald-McDonald.

Done


End file.
